Modeandthelike_MMJuly11

Listening to…
Devendra Banhart’s Mala, Andrew Bird’s Are You Serious

Watching…
Inside Amy Schumer

Check out…
this Atlantic article on Elena Ferrante’s book covers, and how they encourage us to accept fiction by and about women / the benefits of silence on the brain, via Science of Us / the emotionally-charged artwork of Scottish artist Peter Howson

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I’ve been quite anxious lately, which has led me to neglect my blog this past week. Take today, for example: I felt so stressed that I considered crawling back under the covers. In my mind, the day was already a total loss, and it was only noon. Instead of giving in, however, I realized that my time was precious. I would be a fool if I wasted it by feeling sorry for myself.

After showering, going out to the market, and sitting down to eat lunch and listen to a podcast, I felt that I had reclaimed a positive mindset by just doing something. If you allow your anxiety to overcome you because you have the time to indulge it, you’ll end up accomplishing nothing. Many people don’t have the luxury of lying in bed to deliberate over how they should feel better. They just have to stand up, put on their game face, and go out into the world, regardless of how they feel inside.

Getting out and running errands took my mind off my stress. I’ve spent a lot of my time these past few months “resting” and “relaxing,” wondering how I ever got through school under the constant stress of quizzes and essays. But I believe now that it was constant busyness that allowed  me to function. Those levels of stress were a routine; once I completed an assignment, I knew that it was onto the next one. When I linger around the apartment in my pajamas for too long, I start to feel like I’m destined to live my life as a couch potato. The routine of relaxation begins to feel like the norm instead of the limited vacation that it should be. You can’t do nothing forever.

My friend Lisa reminded me recently that people finish tasks in the time that they’re given. This may seem like a non-sequitur (and may sound simple enough), but I think that if you’re given an endless amount of time to relax, you forget that the real world is not about relaxation. Life is about finding your purpose and doing all you can to feel fulfilled. Even though we all bemoan how busy we are, we forget that we need that busyness in order to motivate ourselves. If I have an infinite amount of time to work on this blog, then why not start tomorrow? Next week? Next month? What I’m trying to get at here is this: Create goals. Set deadlines. Get things done. Don’t wallow. Advice that I myself should adhere to more often. (Don’t wallow, future me!)

(Ps: No collage today, but I wanted to share a page of this beautiful magazine for creatives and paper-lovers, Flow. Frida Kahlo’s art is inspiring me today.)